How to Survive Technology-Free in the Woods

(Photo courtesy of Interweb Computer Wallpapers)

By: Jaclyn Borowski

The stories all start out differently but somehow end up the same. Your girlfriend/ sister/ father-in-law/ boss wants to take you on a camping trip, out in the woods, for the holiday weekend and, no matter how hard you try, there’s just no way out.

So how do you hide your addiction to technology and impress your fellow campers by becoming the ultimate guy’s guy? How do you leave the security of your smart phone and all your gadgets to head out into the wilderness and survive for several days?

As geeks, we rely on technology to keep us comfortable and secure throughout the day. As campers, it’s up to each individual person to find the entertainment necessary to fill their days.

For your next long weekend in the woods, we recommend embracing the experience rather than shying away from it. So here’s what we think will make for the best experience both for you and your travel buddies.

Tip #1: Bring everything you could possibly need. When it comes to camping, one of the worst possible scenarios is, after hiking all the way up the hill with tons of gear and random odds and ends, you discover that the one thing you were planning on relying on for the entire weekend is in the car or, worse yet, all the way back at home. To ensure that all the necessities end up in your bag, “make a list before you go camping and checking everything off as you load up,” said Chris Marris, an employee at Lake Casitas in Ventura, Ca, where camping and boating are in season year-round. “The biggest problem with first time campers is they don’t bring the necessary stuff.”

Tip #2: Our second tip relates back to the first one and that is: don’t forget the board games. As technology addicts, we all enjoy a good game of World of Warcraft or Final Fantasy, so welcome to the camping equivalent: Yahtzee. The goal of the game is to get the most points possible by rolling five dice to make select combinations. The rough ground under the tent adds an additional element as players scramble to avoid the rolling die. The ultimate victory in the game is rolling five of a kind, worth 50 points, the highest value in the game. This hand is called a “yahtzee” and all players simultaneously scream “YAHTZEE!”

Tip #3: As nerds, weird eating habits are hardly a rarity. Your friend’s sister likes pizza with anchovies, peanut butter, ketchup and no cheese during her all-nighters studying for that computer science exam. And campers are no different. As described in the Sandlot, nothing brings a group together like s’mores. But don’t get caught out of the loop like Smalls who is left asking what it is that he’s supposed to want some more of. S’mores, the quintessential camping food, require graham crackers, Hershey’s chocolate bars, marshmallows (the bigger the better) and wire clothes hangers. For as long as campers have spent nights out in the wilderness, there have been s’mores. After fashioning the wire clothes hanger into a long rod with a loop for a handle on the end, put the plump ‘mallow on the pointed end and roast it over the fire. Just be careful: once the marshmallow is black, it’s no longer enjoyable to eat. But when the marshmallow gets warm and toasty, it’s time to place it between the graham cracker and chocolate sandwich for the ultimate warm camping treat.

Tip #4: And to wrap up, and yet again revisit #1 and the whole basis of these tips, leave your technology at home! Nothing is more upsetting to us geeks than losing one of our beloved babies to the campground port-a-potty or the bottom of the lake. Not to mention, they take up more space and, chances are, you won’t have reception or the energy to power them off in the woods. Not to mention, as geeks, we’re hardly known for being buff or athletic, so it’s better not to embarrass ourselves trying to lug extra equipment up the mountain that we won’t end up needing. “You wouldn’t want to take a 10 lb. car tent backpacking in the woods,” said REI Camping Sales Specialist Sarah Safford. So if it’s too heavy, or requires technology that didn’t exist during the time of the cavemen, leave it at home.